Subject: Rob Turbo
Week 3: Physical Fitness

What happens when you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see? Well in Rob Turbo’s case you sell your couch and coffee table, buy a full length mirror, hang some posters of hot babes and buy a full on Tony Little workout center! I guess when you can’t win them over with your personality you can try to win them over with rock hard abs.

…what’s up with the choker necklace?

…don’t forget to clinch those ass cheeks Rob.

So after working up a nice sweat and pumping up those muscles after, oh say, five minutes of exercise it’s time to do what every hot blooded male would do: strut! Most people would go show off their new bod down at the beach or pool. Or maybe even find a nice town fair to walk around at with their shirt off. Not our boy Rob though. Oh no. He’ going bold baby. He’s going for a jog through the neighborhood….in his underwear? I don’t think he realizes that those are not work out shorts. So lets go down the checklist:

Workout: CHECK!

Go for a run: CHECK!

Get the mail: CHECK!

Try to pick up neighbor: CHECK!

Fail to pick up neighbor. Walk away in disgust: CHECK!

Dig through the garbage: CHE…CH….wait! What the fuck?! What’s he doing in there? What could he be looking for? HEY! GET OUT OF THERE YOU IDIOT!!!

Shoo away from trash like a racoon: CHECK!

Throw a temper tantrum. Kick over pink flamingos on your lawn: AND CHECK!

What’s the deal? Maybe he has some chemical imbalance.

Mmmmmm…nothing like a giant bowl of sugar to get your head right again.

Well, I guess that will conclude this installment of A Sims Life: The Rob Turbo Project. The lesson here folks is know your body, remember to eat before you work out, and keep yourself properly hydrated. As always, like Wild Kingdom or Planet Earth, simply fascinating! Till next time people!

*All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Subject: Rob Turbo
Week 2: Socializing

You can only keep a sim cooped up in his shit-hole house for so long before you have to turn him loose. I think with our Rob we will start with baby steps. Maybe a quick jaunt over to the neighbors house is in order. Meeting new neighbors is always a fun and educational experience. This will build Rob’s social skills. I have to admit, letting my little Robby Turbo run free stirs up the butterflies in my stomach but It must happen eventually. It is time.

Upon seeing that his new neighbors not only had a bunch of children but was also a punk rocker I knew that this would not go well. Who knew Rob had such a stick up his ass?!

Rob took no time in scaring away the children playing with their father on the swings. They looked to be having such a good time too. Such a shame. He also wasted no time in getting into a heated movie discussion with his new neighbor. How could it be that this spiky haired freak has never seen Biloxi Blues! Outrageous!!! I thought Rob was going to stick that fist in this guys eye! This is not going the way I expected.

Warning! For those of you reader that are sensitive to awkward situations you might want to stop reading this blog now. For the rest of you that love watching car crashes in slow motion read on. What our Rob Turbo does next was quite unexpected.

Note: not Rob Turbo’s house

I knew during this experiment there might come times as a voyeur that would be hard to watch, but this was brutal. After offending his new neighbor by scaring away his children and yelling at him pretty much unprovoked, Rob Turbo then decided to take a uninvited tour of this guys home. He sat on his couch. He watched his TV. He even threw a hissy fit over some of the art that this guy had hanging up in his living-room. And then he decided to go into this mans bathroom and take a shower. Who does that? From someone on the outside looking in I have to say, he’s looks pretty pleased with himself. Well it can only go up from here….

Note: still not Rob Turbo’s house

Maybe not. Oh Rob. So after cleaning up and for reasons unexplained only putting half of his clothes back on Rob decided “what the fuck, lets see what’s for dinner!” and made his way to this poor neighbors kitchen. I have to admit, it’s a unique experience watching our Rob Turbo sit half naked in another mans house uninvited eating another mans food. Rob is not making a good first impression I’m afraid. Maybe this stretching his legs nonsense was all a bit too soon. Thank Christ it’s over.

After all was said and done Rob did eventually make it back to his little hole in the wall and tuck himself in after a long day of socializing. I don’t think he will be invited back next door but screw it! There’s other people in this neighborhood. And lets face it, even after a disastrous day like today how can you be mad at him? Look at him. Sleeping like a baby. Sleep tight Rob Turbo. Sleep tight.

So that’s week 2 of The Rob Turbo project. Aside from a few awkward moments, I guess it didn’t go all that bad. Maybe a job will help release some of that pent up energy. Hmmm. I’ll get on that but until next time guys (and gals), latah!

*All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Subject: Rob Turbo
Day 1: Creation

Well with all good things there has to be a beginning so lets begin.

As you can see through years of research and development and great strides in technology it is now possible for me to make a character that looks nothing like the person I’m trying to make him look like. Facial reconstruction: FAIL! I did alright on the shirt though. Lets move on.

It was very important to me that my Rob Turbo had the proper traits to help him survive in his new environment.

I think I nailed it. Who knew he hated kids so much?!

Also, to get the most out of life (even a Sim life) it’s important to set for yourself the right goals.

Again, I don’t think I’m far of the mark on this one. My Rob Turbo is shaping up nicely!

So now that I had my Rob, what’s next? I guess it’s a good time to go house hunting. Rob Turbo decided to spend 12,000 of his hard earned Simoleons (§) on a Pre-fabulous 1Br -1Ba house at 55 Water Lily Lane. Not the greatest of neighborhoods but he seems pleased with himself.

Rob Turbo doesn’t seem to mind that his house looks like a contractors office at a construction site. Well to each their own I guess.

I have to say, I’m very pleased with the first day of Rob’s new Sim life. He was created. His mind was shaped. His personality was formed. He bought a shitty house.

And as you can see, it didn’t take him long at all to feel right at home.

So that concludes Day 1 of A Sims Life: The Rob Turbo Project. I’m sure that you, just like me, cannot wait to see what adventures our little Rob Turbo will have. It brings a smile to my face just thinking about it. So till next time…latah.

*All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.